With American pride at a supposed low (according to recent Gallup polls), here are some recent headlines guaranteed to make you pledge allegiance.
1.) Panama Justice – Boot Camp Killers of 14 year Old Black Teen Acquitted - Yes, the punching, kicking and deprivation of oxygen of 14 year old Martin Anderson by seven men and one woman is not unusual apparently in the Florida juvenile justice system. Even with video-taped evidence a jury still found no inappropriate behavior. I'm sure these jurors were fair and unbiased here's a photo of the foreman and two jurors:
2.) Mrs. Bin Laden? - Caren Ann Burke, 49, petitioned to change her last name to bin Laden. She listed her reason as "divorce from Rory S. Burke." A few things about Caren: she enjoys long walks on the beach, killing infidels, starring in the TV show "Lost", not paying child support and Barbara Hershey.
3.) Brokeback Joker? - Americans love Batman, and Americans love " Brokeback" gay cowboy jokes. Put the two together, mix in a sprinkle of Heath Ledger and what do you get... The Dark Knight...I guess.
4.) When We Need It Most - The New Backstreet Boys Album - Much like a raging case of herpes, the Backstreet Boys have returned with their 5th album "Unbreakable." Will this album answer America's burning question? Who buys this shit?
5.) Tila Tequeera? - MTV Reality Show A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila - The program is a bisexual-themed reality dating show where 16 straight males and 16 lesbian female contestants compete for Tila's love, the twist is the contestants were not aware of Tila's bisexuality until the end of the first episode. Keep in mind that Tila is so identity confused she claims to joining a Hispanic gang at the age of 16. The kicker to that is she figured out 2 years later that Vietnamese (which is her parent's background) wasn't Hispanic.
Now if those don't make you feel patriotic I don't know what will....unless a bust of Hillary Clinton does it for you.
