Internet Message Board Etiquette... or Why I Shouldn't Talk Shit On-Line

Ok, I love movies (except for Jerry Bruckheimer productions), and I love talking movies. So where do I do most of this you might ask? Why at the Internet Movie Database message boards of course. I find these boards to be a wealth of information, as well as a place to vent about what I feel is bloated hollywood (this years academy awards) , with bloated stars (Jack Nicholson anyone?), and bloated contracts (Internet piracy cost movie studios an estimated 30 million dollars last year, exactly what Arnold Schwarzenegger got paid for Terminator 3 - Rise of the Machines). So the other day I was complaining there about Oceans 13, because as most people have figured out,unlike the first Ocean's movie (which had some definite artistic flair), the sequels have turned into poor plots so rich Hollywood stars can get a free vacation.





































Reportedly, George hosts huge, lavish boat parties during production for his friends. I have no problem with what these guys choose to do, but if the movie you produce from this is crap, I refuse to see it or promote it before it's release. I let my thoughts be know on this on the Oceans 13 board on Friday (transcript below)....

Here's how to sucker a studio into paying for a vacation for stars

by descentor 1 day ago (Fri Mar 9 2007 13:08:38)


Hi, I'm George Clooney. I've realized that if I invite a bunch of my Hollywood friends to star in a movie with no plot and have a competent film-cut-man at the helm (a.k.a. Steven Soderbergh) we can play cards, on yachts, in exotic locations, eat well, and generally mug for the camera and get paid. This is because idiots in America will goto see anything we tell them to. Oh trust me, we do some good things with the money, like produce trash vanity projects ( like Full Frontal, Bubble, and The Good German). So please watch Oceans Thirteen, because I'm using the left over cash from this one to produce an outer space version of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid starring myself and Brad Pitt. Oh, by the way, since I lost a bet with Matt Damon over how long Ben and JLo would stay together, I also have to pay for Bill O'Reilly's sex change. Go O13!!!!! Live It, Learn It, Read It, http://thetoxiclife.blogspot.com/



Now, this is just my humble opinion, but I've gotta love the responses that 3 people (sad morons) post back. Below is the first....

Re: Here's how to sucker a studio into paying for a vacation for stars

by angharad07 1 day ago (Fri Mar 9 2007 19:10:03)
Ignore this User Report Abuse

Wow. That was alarmingly unfunny. Even as sarcasm, it just failed. ----------- The House FAQ: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0412142/faq


Now, here's what is really unfunny, meet Angharad Baber (otherwise known as angharad07, and real-life inspiration behind It's Pat!!).



















This coward run's a blog (which is quite unfunny) and quite sad called Lair of the Swamp Duck (yes, I'm serious, link is below). To make matters worse "it" doesn't even live in the United States, and has no idea why Hollywood and the film system in America is so disheartening. In Cardiff, Wales you have a much different film heirarchy, you should learn to appreciate it (that's not an attempt at sarcasm). In good spirit I went to "it's" blog, and left a message asking for a response for this piece. "It" in response changed the blog to not allow posting and wouldn't stand up for what "it" said.

http://gorbash78.blogspot.com/


After researching this first person, I figured the second poster would be somewhat more of a challenge....sadly no. Here is the second post...

Re: Here's how to sucker a studio into paying for a vacation for stars

by canucksrock 1 day ago (Sat Mar 10 2007 03:17:30)
Ignore this User Report Abuse

LOL this turd has his own site? LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

LOL? What are we 12 years old and posting on one of those chat rooms monitored by Perverted Justice on To Catch A predator? Well, when you see Canucksrock's picture, you'll understand.



















The respective captions on these, on his site, are "Give Me Some Tongue, LOL" and "I'm So Strong." There's that "LOL" again, we can't seem to escape it, but I guess its really "hip" among the 25 year old set in Canada (once again another person who lives in a country with a great film system, that they apparently choose not to enjoy), British Columbia, Vancouver Island,Victoria. Now when you call me a derrogatory name, "turd", that gives me free reign to examine your life as you describe it on the information superhighway. Canucksrock apparently has alot of penned up frustration against females (Mommy Issues). Lets read some quotes from his Nexopia bio and due to the possible language barrier I'll translate below each quote...

"-I'd rather a girl tell me she jus' wants to screw around than her lie and say she wants more..-"

That means she left him for another guy.

"I'm quite sick of scandalous bitches!!-I'm pretty stupid/gullible, I must say, but usually jus' when it comes to girls...-"

That means she left him for his best friend and he cried.

"I am sweet, sincere/honest, caring, loyal, outgoing, open, spontaneous, fun to be with, and just plain nice:) I can cook and bake"


That means he wants to come out of the closet in the next 6 months.

Dislikes
-Girls who say anything and do anything to to someone, to get whoever(else)and whatever they want

That means he's still a virgin (at least of the hetero kind)

I dislike

-Alcohol

-Drugs

-Cigarettes


And he's 25? Can you say straight-edge!

-Stupid illiterate people who say crap like: "ur", "your" when they mean "you're"-Losers who are uglier than me and vote 1's. How's anyone a 1 anyways?

Not stupid illiterate boys who say "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL", and what gives you the right to call anyone ugly?

-Scandalous girls, IE;Tirebiters, gold diggers, cheaters, and girls who say the same stuff to EVERY guy they talk to.

http://www.nexopia.com/profile.php?uid=18414



Ok this anti-female rhetoric goes on and on. But, our friend Canucksrock belongs to no less than 14 on-line dating style services including:

Plentyoffish.com

Othersingles.com

Match.com

Passion.com

true.com

Qualitysingles.com

Datingnetwork.com

Lovehappens.com

Manline.com

The last of which is a charming alternative lifestyle site. Here's a look at their intro page:

Uhmm...have fun finding miss (or Mr.) right, but stay off of boards calling people you don't know a name you don't understand. Using info I gained from different public posts, I called Brandon (oops, wasn't supposed to use his real name), let's call him Shithead. When I asked to speak with Shithead, his Mom (a nice middle-aged woman with a thick French accent) stated that Shithead was out "looking for a auto to buy with friends." He's hoping to be able to buy a car this summer.

Lastly, let's move onto the third post:

Re: Here's how to sucker a studio into paying for a vacation for stars

by meet_the_fozzi 1 day ago (Sat Mar 10 2007 02:44:27)
Ignore this User Report Abuse

Ha..ha..ha! This is the worst thing that i ever read on imdb board. Whatever!

I'm sorry my diatribe brought out such strong emotions in you Fozzi. Hard to believe it's the worst thing you've ever read (especially if you've checked out the Dustin Diamond Bio page). So I guess it is time we "Meet The Fozzi."

Fozzi

Male 19 years old

Anywhere, CALIFORNIA

United States

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=90492530

Unfortunately on his MySpace page this is the only picture Fozzi was brave enough to give. Outside of a disturbing love of all things muppet (including Jim Henson), he proclaims himself a wild swinger. Although in his comments he recounts a very non-hetero cross country trip with a man know only as DaveD. Below I will quote his blog comments to show people just how witty and genuine fozzi is.

Friday, July 21, 2006

safe sex can be safer Current mood: annoyed
Now that I got your attention, I need you to send me 20% of your worth.I can't save your souls for free.
6:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Teaching .1 Current mood: Enlightened
People are like pigeons: many and dirty. On Friday nights, high heels and mini-skirts hobble along the streets looking for fluffed up sports fans. Is that how it is for you people??? Come to me....I will whip you into something different.
9:40 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Monday, July 10, 2006

A Word about MySpace Current mood: dirty
Have you noticed the Porn culture? I never remove my fur on the first try.
6:49 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Saturday, July 08, 2006

I've got the power Current mood: cheerful
To heal the stupid- To avenge the dull. I'm not a real bear...but I'm a real fucked up stuffed animal.
2:44 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I attempted to contact this comedic genius known only as Fozzi, but alas, he chose to ignore the invite.

In closing, when someone puts down your opinion on-line, who only know what kind of loser is on the other end. Many thanks to all the great web search engines, Zabasearch and my good friend EasyDoesIt2810 who is a mod and admin at IMDB. To these three posters, I really hope I'm wrong about Oceans 13, but for some reason I don't think so.